The winds were blowing. You could hear them sing. It was a beautiful song.
Too perfect for words. Not pleasant. But beautiful. Like death. Sadistic. Yet gentle.
The forests did not move. The trees were beautiful.
Glass statues.
Not dead. Not alive as well. Peaceful.
There was no-one around for miles. No humans that is. Solitary animals would always be there.
Wolves. White bears. Cougars.
Free animals. Animals which did not need a group to survive. They were their own group.
Their own village. Their own kingdom. They followed the rules they made for themselves. They were their own society.
Their own family. He could here them moan occasionally in the distance.
Amidst all this he lies. On a white carpet. Naked. He could see his nose. Blue nose.
He could feel the pain. Yet he could feel nothing. An hour had passed. He had not moved since
an hour. He knew it wasnt long. His time had come. He always wanted to die a happy man.
This was not the way he wanted to die. Yet, death was all he wanted at the moment.
It was like him to give up. Yet all his fight was lost. Even if by any miracle,
there was any chance, that he would breathe for 1 more day, he wouldnt take it.
He wanted to die. It was easy. It was an escape. An unending peace was all he wanted.
He had felt his body parts go numb one by one. His limbs were already numb and paralysed when he woke up.
He had tried moving his body. 20 mins he moved. Then he gave up. You always try your hardest when you fight a losing battle. He didnt know when he woke up. It should have been night. Except there were no nights.
He closed his eyes. He was breathing his final few breaths. People try to relive their lives
at a moment like this. All he wanted to do was forget. Yet it kept coming to him. He tried to push them away. He tried to sing but his lips were frozen. Sealed.
People try to think of moments that they could relive.
All such moments he thought of, involved his family. Family. They killed all of it. He didnt miss them though. He was the only one left. In a few breaths his entire line would be lost.
Years of heritage. The days of glory. The songs of galore. All was about to be lost.
There would be no songs about him. Maybe they would remember about him in songs of betrayal.
Maybe there would be no songs of betrayal. History is written by the winners they say.
Maybe they will make him out to be what he was. A coward. Who couldnt defend his honour.
Who couldnt defend his family . They would not be wrong. That is what he all was. A coward.
People try to remember the things that they could change. Things that they might have done
differently. He would have lived his entire life differently.
At 7, he would have killed his uncles for constantly tormenting him. That would have saved him years of torture. He should have done it. Yes. He would not be lying on the snow if he would have done that. At 17, he would have killed his father for fucking the only girl he loved, in front of him.
He had taken away his innocence, and his ability to love.
He should have killed his step mother for constantly and methodically emasculating him.
He was Him because of her. He hated himself. He hated her for that.
There was nothing in this world he would miss. It would be a right thing to die. A logical thing
to give up. His life had no purpose. No-one to live for. He closed his eyes for one last time.
The last thing that he saw was two eyes..... staring at him. Probably of a wild animal. Definitely a wild animal.
He did not care.
He was going where he wanted to go. He closed his eyes. One last time.
And slept. For the first time in his life, he was peaceful.
